I think it’s good that you point out that using things like condoms during fertile phases creates a higher failure rate than strict NFP which encourages complete abstinence during those times. Taking Charge of Your Fertility covers this, but I think it’s good to point that out to readers here, too. Interestingly, as you suggest, condoms are considered LESS effective than NFP.

I’m having trouble deciding whether to stick with “NFP” or “FAM” as my main term in discussing this stuff . . . if I decide to go with one or the other I will have to be clear to my readers on the differences. Thanks for pointing out, though, that they are indeed different.

Taking your temperature is completely ick-free, because it’s just a thermometer in your mouth. (Apparently you can choose between oral, rectal or vaginal, but WHO IN THE WORLD would choose the latter two?? I . . . I can’t even imagine.) And as for “mucus” (which I much prefer to call “cervical fluid”), all you really have to do is pay attention. I think you can kind of choose your level of involvement. If using your fingers grosses you out (which it does for me) you can use tissue. I admit I kind of gag when I see photos, so I just look really quick and then I read the descriptions. I can handle written descriptions.

I’m sure fertility awareness is not for everyone, but I think it’s wonderful to have the option. I think it’s valuable to get to know your body, and I think once you get to know it well enough it stops making you go ick. Plus, as Toni Weschler points out, if you’re using fertility awareness to achieve pregnancy, cervical fluid is nothing compared to the ickiness that will ensue when you give birth to a baby (all that poo and vomit will make cervical fluid seem like nothing).

Oh, and time devotion? I can’t say too much from experience, since I just started myself, but I have read that eventually it becomes so second nature that it takes practically no time at all. A few seconds every morning to take your temperature, and when you go to the bathroom you just pay attention to what you see. At the end of the day you check a few boxes on your chart and voila. Done.

I don’t know if that helps. Maybe it’s a start? But thanks so much for your excellent and perfectly reasonable question!

I must confess, I didn’t know that “TTC” was a common acronym for “trying to conceive” so it took me a few moments to figure out what you were saying there.

I agree that it must be so empowering to go into a doctor’s office and be able to say, “My luteal phase seems a little short and I think that’s why we’re having trouble conceiving” rather than “I don’t know what’s wrong with me! Shouldn’t I be pregnant by now?” The second statement is where I was just a few weeks ago. I know that we probably can’t/shouldn’t avoid the doctor altogether, but we shouldn’t have to rely on them for absolutely everything.

It sounds perfect to begin charting while you’re engaged so that by the time you become sexually active you already know what’s going on. Those of us who started our marriages off on the Pill have a harder time if we want to transition to NFP later, because we have to learn about it while having sex so it’s a lot riskier. I wish I had done what you did!

Thanks for your thoughts and for your prayers! I feel so undeserving! Merry Christmas to you, too!

Thanks for stopping by and offering your thoughts. Don’t worry – my parade doesn’t feel rained upon at all. It helps that your comment seems to suggest you know even less about the subject than I do, which I admit is still quite little. I’ve only read one book on the subject and a handful of articles, and I haven’t even put it into practice yet, so I can’t possibly be considered an expert. But it seems you haven’t even done that much.

For starters, I at least know that FAM isn’t even close to being only theoretical. Its effectiveness has been tested and proven, and published by doctors. It’s completely scientific. Here’s just one article, written by doctors, that a reader suggested to me: http://www.jabfm.org/cgi/content/full/22/2/147. It’s from the Departments of Family Medicine and Psychiatry at University of Iowa. They say that the unintended pregnancy rates when FAM is used properly is 1% to 3%, which is comparable to other contraceptives.

You seem to think that the book I mention is the only one published on the subject, but it totally isn’t. There are plenty of others. Look around – there are plenty.

Plus, if you think about it, the logic and science for FAM is airtight: you can’t get pregnant if there’s no egg available to fertilize. An egg is only available in a woman’s body for a few days every cycle, and her body typically gives very clear signs of when an egg is present. FAM relies on three corroborating signs of fertility, and one of them is easily measured by a thermometer. If you abstain from sex when there’s no egg, you CAN’T get pregnant. Sure, people can mess up on reading the signs, and sometimes bodies are going to do unpredictable things, but overall the science makes sense.

Not only is there science to back it up, but many people are practicing it and it has been working for them. I don’t have any stats but maybe one of my readers can provide some.

To address your comments specifically: I don’t think this method is foolproof as a birth control, but I do think it can be about as effective as contraceptives. And I didn’t anywhere suggest it’s a foolproof method in getting pregnant “within the first month.” But I’m pretty convinced, from the literature, that it’s highly effective for increasing your chances in getting pregnant. Again, I don’t know the stats off-hand, but I think it’s something like 60% more effective than random sex.

Also, women from earlier millennia didn’t have the information we have now, and they certainly didn’t have digital thermometers, so it’s no surprise they’ve had a harder time avoiding pregnancy.

Despite your attempt to “rain on my parade” I remain very confident in FAM’s potential to work as a birth control, even though, as you point out, I still lack knowledge and experience. But I look forward to learning more about it from people who DO have knowledge and experience, and I look forward to learning with other open-minded people.

Don’t worry, though: I was very skeptical myself when I first started hearing about it. I encourage you to check it out for yourself.

As far as I know, the Billings method involves only observing cervical fluids, whereas the Fertility Awareness Method combines that with taking your basal body temperature every morning.

I’m glad to hear you’re interested in learning more, too!

I’m so glad to hear other women are interested in this stuff, too! We’ll have to keep in touch as we both learn more!