Comments on: What's the Point of Marriage? Part 5: To Meet Basic Human Needs http://projectmonline.com/2010/01/12/whats-the-point-of-marriage-part-5-to-meet-basic-human-needs/ Musings on Love, Marriage, and the Madness that Ensues Thu, 09 Sep 2010 01:06:07 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Kathleen Quiring http://projectmonline.com/2010/01/12/whats-the-point-of-marriage-part-5-to-meet-basic-human-needs/comment-page-1/#comment-559 Kathleen Quiring Fri, 29 Jan 2010 19:57:45 +0000 http://projectmonline.com/?p=609#comment-559 Wow. It sounds like you've had some negative experiences with marriage. I'm terribly sorry to hear that. I should be clear that I'm not really concerned with legal marriage. When I talk about marriage, I'm not talking about the state-enforced institution, but rather the spiritual covenant made before God and witnesses. Most people in this country enter into both at the same time, making their marriage both legally and religiously binding, but I remain convinced that they are two distinct unions. You can be married in the eyes of the state but not in God's and vice versa. And my main concern here is the spiritual union. I have no doubt that the state-enforced institution is messed up. I'm sorry to hear that you've been so hurt and damaged by the laws that be. Wow. It sounds like you’ve had some negative experiences with marriage. I’m terribly sorry to hear that.

I should be clear that I’m not really concerned with legal marriage. When I talk about marriage, I’m not talking about the state-enforced institution, but rather the spiritual covenant made before God and witnesses. Most people in this country enter into both at the same time, making their marriage both legally and religiously binding, but I remain convinced that they are two distinct unions. You can be married in the eyes of the state but not in God’s and vice versa. And my main concern here is the spiritual union.

I have no doubt that the state-enforced institution is messed up. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been so hurt and damaged by the laws that be.

]]> By: noname http://projectmonline.com/2010/01/12/whats-the-point-of-marriage-part-5-to-meet-basic-human-needs/comment-page-1/#comment-552 noname Fri, 29 Jan 2010 05:20:36 +0000 http://projectmonline.com/?p=609#comment-552 "When thinking this through, at one point I actually concluded that marriage is primarily designed for the benefit of women. I have since reconsidered, and decided that it was made for both sexes equally, but I still concede that marriage is pretty important for women." Marriage is an institution to keep women from having to seek a life of prostitution! For men it is totally pointless, Married men have no legal rights, only legal obligations, While he is OBLIGATED to provide financially even in divorce she has no legal obligations whatsoever to the man. It has nothing to do with religious obligations because a marriage license is a Legal Contract. You don't have to be Married to be in love, and you don't have to be married to make a baby, and despite the numerous lies told on this front after releasing his semen men have no enforceable parental rights. Whether to give birth or abort, how it is raised, how it is named, There are cases where fathers gain custody, but as a rule if the woman wants her baby and she is not a mass murderer the courts will award her custody, A man only has financial obligations and until recently and currently in some provinces still a child born in a marriage but not of the married father is still the responsibility of the married man. This is just my opinion, but I could be wrong however I know I am not because I have witnessed this first hand. >=0 So your quote about marriage being designed for the benefit of the woman you are bang on. Somewhat HAPPILY divorced. “When thinking this through, at one point I actually concluded that marriage is primarily designed for the benefit of women. I have since reconsidered, and decided that it was made for both sexes equally, but I still concede that marriage is pretty important for women.”

Marriage is an institution to keep women from having to seek a life of prostitution!

For men it is totally pointless, Married men have no legal rights, only legal obligations, While he is OBLIGATED to provide financially even in divorce she has no legal obligations whatsoever to the man. It has nothing to do with religious obligations because a marriage license is a Legal Contract.
You don’t have to be Married to be in love, and you don’t have to be married to make a baby, and despite the numerous lies told on this front after releasing his semen men have no enforceable parental rights.
Whether to give birth or abort, how it is raised, how it is named, There are cases where fathers gain custody, but as a rule if the woman wants her baby and she is not a mass murderer the courts will award her custody, A man only has financial obligations and until recently and currently in some provinces still a child born in a marriage but not of the married father is still the responsibility of the married man.

This is just my opinion, but I could be wrong however I know I am not because I have witnessed this first hand. >=0 So your quote about marriage being designed for the benefit of the woman you are bang on.

Somewhat HAPPILY divorced.

]]> By: Adventure-Some Matthew http://projectmonline.com/2010/01/12/whats-the-point-of-marriage-part-5-to-meet-basic-human-needs/comment-page-1/#comment-438 Adventure-Some Matthew Fri, 22 Jan 2010 19:01:32 +0000 http://projectmonline.com/?p=609#comment-438 I know that part of the reason I married my wife is because she complimented me so well. She is strong in some of the places I am weak (like communication) and vice versa. She also pushes me to be better (which might be more ME), either through encouragement to help me grow or compliments to make me want to continue on. Specifics to the genders? There's the nurturing aspect of women (generally speaking). Without that care, how many men would go through life sick and injured? Similarly, men are able to care for their wives when they are sick; to provide their strength when needed. Um... opening jars and reaching things on the top shelves... :D (Meant in a playful tone!) I know that part of the reason I married my wife is because she complimented me so well. She is strong in some of the places I am weak (like communication) and vice versa. She also pushes me to be better (which might be more ME), either through encouragement to help me grow or compliments to make me want to continue on.

Specifics to the genders? There’s the nurturing aspect of women (generally speaking). Without that care, how many men would go through life sick and injured? Similarly, men are able to care for their wives when they are sick; to provide their strength when needed.

Um… opening jars and reaching things on the top shelves… :D (Meant in a playful tone!)

]]> By: Perpetually Torn http://projectmonline.com/2010/01/12/whats-the-point-of-marriage-part-5-to-meet-basic-human-needs/comment-page-1/#comment-424 Perpetually Torn Wed, 20 Jan 2010 21:13:46 +0000 http://projectmonline.com/?p=609#comment-424 I like your points on marriage... but I think the reason for any relationship is for validation. You can walk to the moon and back, move mountains, rule the world - and I don't think any of that matters unless you have someone to share it with or at least to brag about it with (key word here is 'with')... that person makes your life valid, they give you a reason for being. I think people now a days take that for granted because they have so many other outlets to share their accomplishments, failures, or feelings with... but at the end of the day, when facebook, twitter and blogs are shut off, friends go home and parents/siblings leave... life can be very lonely without someone there to give your life meaning. I like your points on marriage… but I think the reason for any relationship is for validation. You can walk to the moon and back, move mountains, rule the world – and I don’t think any of that matters unless you have someone to share it with or at least to brag about it with (key word here is ‘with’)… that person makes your life valid, they give you a reason for being.

I think people now a days take that for granted because they have so many other outlets to share their accomplishments, failures, or feelings with… but at the end of the day, when facebook, twitter and blogs are shut off, friends go home and parents/siblings leave… life can be very lonely without someone there to give your life meaning.

]]> By: Molly W http://projectmonline.com/2010/01/12/whats-the-point-of-marriage-part-5-to-meet-basic-human-needs/comment-page-1/#comment-383 Molly W Wed, 20 Jan 2010 06:06:09 +0000 http://projectmonline.com/?p=609#comment-383 Though I can't site specifics right now, history has shown that while women usually married young (to take advantage of fertility) it was very typical for men not to marry until their 30's and for a long time marriage to older men was more advantageous because they were more likely to be past the raucous days of their youth, be settled in jobs/income, have already inherited property or have been discharged from active military service. In pre-industrialized countries you really did need for a man to settled in his career or trade before he became a really viable candidate. Though I can’t site specifics right now, history has shown that while women usually married young (to take advantage of fertility) it was very typical for men not to marry until their 30′s and for a long time marriage to older men was more advantageous because they were more likely to be past the raucous days of their youth, be settled in jobs/income, have already inherited property or have been discharged from active military service. In pre-industrialized countries you really did need for a man to settled in his career or trade before he became a really viable candidate.

]]> By: Mrs. Levine http://projectmonline.com/2010/01/12/whats-the-point-of-marriage-part-5-to-meet-basic-human-needs/comment-page-1/#comment-376 Mrs. Levine Thu, 14 Jan 2010 19:18:27 +0000 http://projectmonline.com/?p=609#comment-376 I am totally with you! Blogging is like crack for the writer or something. I have a novel that I'm working on, but I can only get about an hour in before I start churning out blog ideas, wanting to check it, wanting to get those new little tidbits going. I think it must be the immediacy of getting it out into the world so quickly. I don't know, but it certainly has an ADD effect on me when it comes to my concentration level for other types of writing. If you find a trick to switching between the two please give me a shout. I am totally with you! Blogging is like crack for the writer or something. I have a novel that I’m working on, but I can only get about an hour in before I start churning out blog ideas, wanting to check it, wanting to get those new little tidbits going. I think it must be the immediacy of getting it out into the world so quickly. I don’t know, but it certainly has an ADD effect on me when it comes to my concentration level for other types of writing. If you find a trick to switching between the two please give me a shout.

]]> By: Kathleen Quiring http://projectmonline.com/2010/01/12/whats-the-point-of-marriage-part-5-to-meet-basic-human-needs/comment-page-1/#comment-375 Kathleen Quiring Thu, 14 Jan 2010 13:39:19 +0000 http://projectmonline.com/?p=609#comment-375 Man, I can never completely decide on the gender issue either. Are we the same or are we fundamentally different? I waver all the time, too. Oh man. I took about a two-day break to work on my book and then returned to blogging. I keep having ideas for my blog and writing for it rather than for my book. I'm trying to balance both but it's hard. Thanks so much for your encouragement and support, Mrs. Levine! You are too kind! Man, I can never completely decide on the gender issue either. Are we the same or are we fundamentally different? I waver all the time, too.

Oh man. I took about a two-day break to work on my book and then returned to blogging. I keep having ideas for my blog and writing for it rather than for my book. I’m trying to balance both but it’s hard. Thanks so much for your encouragement and support, Mrs. Levine! You are too kind!

]]> By: Elizabeth http://projectmonline.com/2010/01/12/whats-the-point-of-marriage-part-5-to-meet-basic-human-needs/comment-page-1/#comment-374 Elizabeth Thu, 14 Jan 2010 13:29:08 +0000 http://projectmonline.com/?p=609#comment-374 Oh, and speaking of the age of marriage, I wonder if you know anything about the history of it? I thought that nowadays our society must be waiting for marriage the longest, and yet I think I heard that this average age (which I believe is 25 for F, 27 for M) has been hit before (perhaps during the Great Depression?). I wonder if this didn't happen until Enlightenment/Industrialization, or if it possibly occurred before that and is a cyclical thing? I'm tempted to think of marrying late as a recent trend, but really I haven't done the research to know. This could probably be a whole separate post though :) Oh, and speaking of the age of marriage, I wonder if you know anything about the history of it? I thought that nowadays our society must be waiting for marriage the longest, and yet I think I heard that this average age (which I believe is 25 for F, 27 for M) has been hit before (perhaps during the Great Depression?). I wonder if this didn’t happen until Enlightenment/Industrialization, or if it possibly occurred before that and is a cyclical thing? I’m tempted to think of marrying late as a recent trend, but really I haven’t done the research to know.

This could probably be a whole separate post though :)

]]> By: Elizabeth http://projectmonline.com/2010/01/12/whats-the-point-of-marriage-part-5-to-meet-basic-human-needs/comment-page-1/#comment-373 Elizabeth Thu, 14 Jan 2010 13:24:32 +0000 http://projectmonline.com/?p=609#comment-373 I've read that the relatively recent phenomenon of "guyland" (this extended adolescence of guys through their 20s) is related to guys not marrying until they're older. Without the domesticating (I'm sure there's a better word) influence of a wife, these guys are perpetually engaged in the rollicking and rowdy world of drinking and carousing. It's not until they are forced to step outside of their selfish ways and feel the pressure to support a family that they become men. (Note that I think this is applying to women more as well.) I’ve read that the relatively recent phenomenon of “guyland” (this extended adolescence of guys through their 20s) is related to guys not marrying until they’re older. Without the domesticating (I’m sure there’s a better word) influence of a wife, these guys are perpetually engaged in the rollicking and rowdy world of drinking and carousing. It’s not until they are forced to step outside of their selfish ways and feel the pressure to support a family that they become men. (Note that I think this is applying to women more as well.)

]]> By: Mrs. Levine http://projectmonline.com/2010/01/12/whats-the-point-of-marriage-part-5-to-meet-basic-human-needs/comment-page-1/#comment-372 Mrs. Levine Thu, 14 Jan 2010 02:35:01 +0000 http://projectmonline.com/?p=609#comment-372 Like all things, I think my feelings on this goes in waves. At the moment I'm finding it most useful to think that me and my husband are basically the same and the ways we express things are different. But sometimes I think we are totally different creatures and that maybe that's a good thing and that maybe that's a bad thing. All good to think about even if we're never right, always right, or sometimes right about the similarities and differences with the sexes. That wasn't the reason I was posting, though. I wanted to ask . . . are you still going to take time off to work on your book? Just wanted to say that I will faithfully stick with you if you want to take that break because I'm really excited to see the book! Good luck with it!! Like all things, I think my feelings on this goes in waves. At the moment I’m finding it most useful to think that me and my husband are basically the same and the ways we express things are different. But sometimes I think we are totally different creatures and that maybe that’s a good thing and that maybe that’s a bad thing. All good to think about even if we’re never right, always right, or sometimes right about the similarities and differences with the sexes.

That wasn’t the reason I was posting, though. I wanted to ask . . . are you still going to take time off to work on your book? Just wanted to say that I will faithfully stick with you if you want to take that break because I’m really excited to see the book! Good luck with it!!

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