Comments on: A Manifesto for "Pretty OK"

By: Ashleigh W

Ashleigh W — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 19:51:43 +0000

I recently became a fan of your blog…and was poking around and found this today.

I can’t tell you how much I needed this. Every word described me.
It is an overwhelming task to be perfect in every area of life. The PhD hangs over my head as well, but the fear of not accomplishing it terrorizes me.

Little things- call for perfection.
Big things- call for perfection.

Who’s responsibility to be perfect? Mine.

Gosh, I relate.
Thank you.

And you made me feel “ok” for today. So you have accomplished something good.

By: Kathleen Quiring

Kathleen Quiring — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 11:54:36 +0000

Thanks, Melissa! I think you’re exactly right. Also, I don’t think there’s anything to be embarrassed of in finding wisdom in literature, even if it’s in young adult literature.

By: melissa

melissa — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 02:26:05 +0000

Great blog, It seems like you are are really using it to learn and help others learn.

I think we wonder about whether or not we are good enough because we are given so many conflicting thoughts about what the point of our lives should be. Why aren’t you Mother Theresa? Or Gandhi? WHY AREN’T YOU DOING GREAT THINGS? When I start thinking things like this, I read Little Women, and I remember a Great Thing can be a small thing, too. That’s actually somewhat embarrassing to admit to a complete stranger, but there it is.

By: Kathleen Quiring

Kathleen Quiring — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 01:01:48 +0000

Hi Moriah – no, I’ve never even heard of the book before. But I checked out the reviews on your link and it does seem pretty relevant to my situation! I’ll have to keep it in mind. Thanks!

By: Moriah @ Please Pass the Salt

Moriah @ Please Pass the Salt — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 00:18:24 +0000

Hey, I clicked over from Brandi/WBFS (comment above)… Have you read “The Pressure’s Off: there’s a new way to live”? (Here’s the amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/Pressures-Off-Theres-New-Live/dp/1578568455/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1265156209&sr=8-1) My hubby read it and said it was FABULOUS. It sounds like the kind of antidote to perfectionism you (and I, ha) could use.

By: Monday Must-Reads » Will Blog for Shoes

Monday Must-Reads » Will Blog for Shoes — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 15:03:01 +0000

[...] Rebuttal Rant: A Manifest for “Pretty OK @ Project [...]

By: Will Blog for Shoes

Will Blog for Shoes — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 18:09:29 +0000

I came over from Simple Marriage (and am about to read your guest post over there) but just wanted to say that I love this post. I am not so much a perfectionist, myself, as I am one that has convinced myself that I need to be the best at everything. When I’m not, I give up. And it has affected my marriage, my parenting, and my friendships. It stinks.

So, thanks for writing words I need to read and maybe repeat to myself often. Also, thanks to one of your commenters, I’m thinking of adding a Vitamin D supplement!

By: The Hubby Diaries

The Hubby Diaries — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 17:13:45 +0000

Wow, this post has really struck a chord with me. As a full-time perfectionist, I am my own worst critic. I hold myself to a ridiculous standard and I can easily get down on myself when I’m “under-achieving”. Of course, this is all mostly in my own head.

I think part of the challenge is what we define as extraordinary. What’s extraordinary for one person may be considered average for another.. and I think that’s part of what we need to consider as we evaluate ourselves based on other people’s definitions. Or, when we create our own definitions that are somewhat unrealistic.

I also think that even a “pretty ok” life & marriage does indeed offer some days that are truly extraordinary. I think that we forget (or at least I do!) that you can’t be acheiving top performance every single moment of every single day. Some days stand out and others just blur together.. but that’s ok. It’s not less of a life, it’s not lower expectations, it’s just simply living. And, sometimes just living happily can be extraordinary!

By: Rubens Turkienicz

Rubens Turkienicz — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 17:11:51 +0000

Dear Kathleen,
Thanks for your sincerity and courage!
Have you ever considered that none of us – you included! – needs to “achieve” anything, especially the “approval” or the “permission” nor the “advice” of anybody regarding our most intimate matters – marriage included! – which are simply unique, intimate and nobody else’s “business”?
Intimate matters may need professional services to be understood and fully assumed – and that is what therapy is for – but judging is useless, unless we “believe” that somebody else knows what is best for each one of us, or else because we are ready to engage in our intimate matters in the same materialistic ways that we go to the super-market?
Thanks for listening, Kathleen!
Be happy!!!
Rubens

By: Kathleen Quiring

Kathleen Quiring — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 13:15:17 +0000

Thanks, Ann. You know, I’m willing to try anything right about now — maybe vitamins could help. I’m learning more and more about what negative effects nutritional deficiencies can have on our bodies; who’s to say it doesn’t have an emotional toll, too? I’m thinking about taking vitamin D anyways to improve my fertility, so now I have even more motivation to give it a shot. Thanks!

I’m also comforted to hear I’m not the only one who gets stressed out reading marriage books!