Comments on: Prayers, God, and Empty Wombs

By: TERRY INEZ

TERRY INEZ — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 14:27:56 +0000

I didnt ever conceived now i am pass the age as society see to do
so my hurt still exist daily but i go on given up is not an optional but
living on daily is a journey that we must do. so when the blessing of
a child and children don’t come only we who have gone and are on
the journey understand. there are time when God may give a answer
of no. be good to yourself today and to cry is not a sign of weakness
it is just who we are.

love you

By: Raeanne

Raeanne — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 15:45:12 +0000

I know this was months ago, but just knowing that I am not that only one that gets overwhelmingly sad over frustrating cycles and can be brought to tears seemingly at the drop of a hat makes it all a bit easier. Thank you!

By: Kathleen Quiring

Kathleen Quiring — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 13:54:08 +0000

Wow, Nicole, what a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing! In the midst of grief you never know what God has in store for you. That’s amazing.

By: NICOLE

NICOLE — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 06:14:44 +0000

Kathleen, i just linked into your site from Corey’s, who I just started to follow and I think this post was the reason!

I went thru everything you said. We went thru fertility treatments up to IVF, We couldn’t do that cost. NOTHING was wrong with either of us, yes we started at late 30s, but all tests showed perfectly fine.

We went thru highs and lots and lots of lows-mainly on my part- guys tend to compartmalize better, women tend to blame themselves (human nature i think).

We had 2 churches praying for us daily. Finally one day I said ENOUGH to the tears and depression and talked to hubby about foster care. Adoption is so expensive and iffy (but I knew thru a best friend that it can be just as wonderful as physically giving birth to a child), but foster care- you CAN help a child who NEEDS you.

LIteraly the week after we finished classes we were called in the middle of the night to come pick up a 5 week old infant. When I looked in her face it dawned on me- the grief God sent me was to prepare me for motherhood – I knew I would need the strength the whole fertility experience had given me to give this child the strength she needed.

I am very happy to report that 8 months later that infant became our daughter officially, but she was in my heart the moment I held her. I realized at that moment that God had had a different plan all along for us, we just were blinded by desire to physically have a child. Our daughter couldn’t be more like us in looks or temperament.

Sometimes it takes strength you didn’t know you had to close a door, so God can open the next one for you. So don’t give up, the prayers are working, you just don’t know the answer yet!

HUGS

By: Joan

Joan — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 17:42:07 +0000

Kathleen,
I am new to your site – and I love it. I was over 2 years conceiving and a big part of my journey was letting go – and when I did get pregnant, and birth my son, it was absolutely at the right time. Blessings,
Joan

By: Kathleen Quiring

Kathleen Quiring — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 13:23:02 +0000

Trust me, Courtney, by month six I was already having meltdowns, too. I pray that it’s shorter for you, too!

By: Kathleen Quiring

Kathleen Quiring — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 13:17:54 +0000

I think you make a great point, Susan, and I’m glad you brought it up. Perhaps the grief itself has a purpose. Perhaps, for example, it will make me a better parent when the day comes. I’m deeply touched by your suggestion — thanks.

By: Kathleen Quiring

Kathleen Quiring — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 13:15:52 +0000

What a lovely poem, Mrs. Levine. Thanks. I think I need to print it out and tape it onto my nightstand.

By: Mrs. Levine of Whispered Between Women

Mrs. Levine of Whispered Between Women — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 03:48:27 +0000

Hope
by Emily Dickinson,
for my fellow writing friend when she needs it most
and for Stephanie and Courtney,
brave, open souls that all of you are to share your struggles so others can find comfort too

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune–without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I’ve heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

By: SusanJ

SusanJ — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 03:36:18 +0000

I feel almost a little awkward commenting to you on such a personal post, since we haven’t “met” yet. But my heart really goes out to you in your longing and that’s a subject I post a lot about.

I have a theory #4 for you. That when we ask for something, and we get something else, what’s happening is we’re being shown the next thing that’s standing between us and what we long for.

So if we long for a child, and we get grief instead, then the grief or the emptiness or the feeling denied is the next thing we need to clear away on the path to having a child.

It’s funny, Corey actually spoke to this very thing in his guest post. He says that the marriage is working on us, not the other way around. I believe that’s true with any deep longing. It’s working on us.

Sometimes I think it’s God’s way of turning us into who we were always destined to become. That our desire gets dangled in front of us as the hugest incentive to keep transforming ourselves in a way that will make us completely ready to have what we’ve always wanted by the time we actually get there.

I don’t know if this helps, but I hope so. I’m glad to have discovered you and these heartfelt posts.